tiistai 17. kesäkuuta 2014

Pleasant Nightmare

My life is like an ocean, sometimes its so stormy that i feel like its going to make all disappear under it. And sometimes its so calm that its almost beautiful.

In same way i could describe my love for you. But in this metaphor your love is the ocean. And loving you id like jumping to the middle of that ocean from boat without knowing how to survive in it. Without knowing how to swim. Like for a moment id forget in all that beauty that i cant swim.

Why? Because just sometimes you want something to be true so badly that you do everything to prove yourself that its true..  But sometimes, even if you would have a bandage on your eyes, it wouldnt stop you from seeing the truth.

In same way i fought for the relationship that i knew wouldnt last nor go anywhere. It was like a sweet lie. I wanted to believe it because i loved the sweetness of it but i hated the way how i knew it wasnt true. Yet still i fought for it to show all that its true, when even i knew myself that i was making a fool of myself. I knew it was a lie, a sweet mistake, a tamned curse.

I have danced with the song that you played, but you keep changing the words. You tried so hard to sabotage our relationship because it was beyond perfect. And now im tired of fighting. I was blind but i can see it now.

The truth is that this love will either drown me while i try to prove it right or than i gotta stop fighting for nothing and rise back to that boat to safe myself from drowning and sure destruction.  Because that is what will happen, this love is not my saviour. It will kill me in the end for sure. It will eat my every chance of happiness and burn me into dust.

But i wont let that happen.  I might have woken up in the middle of rubble. But from the fading light i will fly and rise like phoenix out of the ashes.  You made me go trough hell. You drag me down, but ill rise up to the sky and i will fly. You know it as well as i do, i will get over this. Im finally free.